Holidaze part two

So my asshole cousin never got back to me about coming over for Christmas. But him and his wife cancelled on his parents for Christmas Chinese food so they ended up taking his two older kids out while him and his wife stayed at home ( huh?). Their baby wasn’t super sick- confirmed by the photo he posted on Facebook. So annoying but at least we had a good Christmas.

My dad’s surgery went well. They had to remove a little bone in his face and six teeth but they got everything and he is feeling better every day. Not sure if he will need radiation or chemo but I’m optimistic.

The flight home was awful. Two layovers was stupid crazy but Arya was a trooper and only had one big crying fit during the whole 12 hour debacle.

It’s New Years Eve and I’m eating a delicious brunch while Arya is at daycare. Omg did I need this day off after 12 days straight of taking care of her. Next, I’m taking myself to see the new Spider-Man and will probably fall asleep with the baby at 9. Happy New Year!

The holidaze

My dad got the results of his tests back and he has to have surgery two days after Christmas. The surgery will include removing a tumor and a large part of the roof of his mouth and some reconstructive surgery. According to my dad (who I have mentioned isn’t the best at complete honesty) the cancer hasn’t spread so they want to get it out ASAP. If this is really the case, his prognosis is decent and I have my fingers crossed that everything goes well. I can tell he is really nervous and it’s really putting a damper on the holiday but we are all doing our best to enjoy this time as much as we can.

Arya and I have been at my parent’s house since the 19th and we will be here until the 28th. So we will be here for the surgery but very little of the recovery. I thought about changing my flight to stay longer but I’m not sure having a baby around will help ease stress. Although she definitely makes people smile ( she is a baby after all) she has recently started experiencing some separation anxiety. The timing sucks because my family definitely needs some baby snuggles but Arya starts crying about 70% of the time someone else tries to hold her or watch her. I can’t even leave the room when I finally have help. My sister and dad seem to understand it’s just a baby phase but my mom seems to be taking it very personally. Sadly she is really in need of some baby snuggles but she is really frustrating me with her comments about me causing this by ” spoiling ” Arya. But I’m trying to take it in stride given the added stress of my dad’s illness.

Also, my aunt ( who is my mom’s best friend) has cancer too and her prognosis is really bad. I’ve been ” negotiating ” over text with her son to try and get us all together for Christmas. We have all spent the holiday together for as long as I can remember but over the last few years him, his wife, and their two ( now three kids) have been going out for Chinese while my aunt and uncle and his sister spend Christmas with us. It definitely seems that this is an issue his wife has but it’s really weird. This year, my aunt and uncle are going for Chinese food too ( I’m assuming because she wants to spend what will likely be one of her last Christmas’s with her son and grandkids), when it’s obvious she would prefer we all have Christmas together. My mom was in tears the other day talking about how she knows my aunt is dying and that she wants to spend time with her. Me and my sister were so fed up with this selfish bullshit so I sent her son this text:

He didn’t respond. I’m assuming he was either ignoring it or fighting with his wife about it. After 24 hours of silence I got annoyed and sent: “what’s up? Are you just not going to respond?”

Then he sent this total BS about his baby being sick and how they would try to make it.

I’m so frustrated. This isn’t about his wife and their petty weirdness. It’s about our parents both being sick and having one last holiday all together. I’m fully aware I may be projecting a bit but I’m just so angry at them. I get that he is dealing with his mother’s illness but it’s just so selfish and shitty. I’m assuming they won’t show up but I’m holding on to some hope that they will.

To end this on a more positive note, I got the most adorable picture of Arya with Santa ( no separation anxiety with him 🤔)

More travel!

Things have been a whirlwind and my maternity leave is quickly coming to an end. We took a two day trip to Las Vegas to stay with a friend, her partner, and their one year old in a huge suite booked for a work trip. I watched both kids so they could celebrate a birthday and ( shockingly) it was really hard. I got both kids down at the same time and was all ” this isn’t too hard.” But then they both woke up screaming and was faced with the dilemma of how to comfort a screaming toddler and baby at the same time. I finally settled on rocking Arya in the stroller while holding the toddler. Just when they finally calmed down, my friends came home and their toddler fell into their arms immediately becoming a crying, blubbering, mess. This did not instill confidence in my already super anxious friend ( I’m one of the only people she will let babysit).

Despite Las Vegas being the antithesis of ” baby friendly” we had a pretty good time walking around and going to the pool. For an inexplicable reason, most of them were really shallow ( like 10 inches deep). This was perfect for some baby swimming ( sorry fancy hotel guests hoping to have a relaxing and sophisticated day at your super fancy pool).

And Arya started solids and is a vigorous and enthusiastic eater- just like her mama.

6 more weeks..!

I go back to work in six weeks! Six months felt like a lifetime before I had Arya but the cliche is right- it goes by super fast. I’m kind of looking forward to using my brain in different ways again but it’s going to be such a huge adjustment. I was holding Arya this morning thinking about leaving her in daycare and I started tearing up.

I’m super excited I found an affordable-ish daycare two blocks from home but I do wish they were a little more hands on regarding the transition process. They are so laid back that it makes me slightly worried. But I would probably be worried no matter what so I’m trying to just enjoy this last six weeks and not create horror scenarios in my head about what could possibly happen to her in daycare.

In other news, Arya rocked our six hour cross country flight. She literally didn’t make more than a peep and slept 80% of the time. Strangers complimented us and I felt like a proud mama. People were also super great and offered help constantly. Here are a few pictures of our journey:

Family

We had a bit of an adventure after arriving in New York on Tuesday. We did miss our connection and when I went to the desk to rebook our flight it was 50 people long so I went into the first class lounge hoping they would let us in. Thank god I did because we were helped right away and they gave us a hotel, a taxi voucher to the hotel, and a food voucher even though they weren’t obligated to do it because the delay was due to weather. They were also able to rebook is for the next day. Originally, not until 7pm but she pulled some strings and got us on an earlier flight. People definitely want to help a solo mom with a baby- at least in this instance.

They attempted to pull our luggage so I could get extra formula and diapers but after waiting an hour and being told it would be several more at 12:30 AM, I decided to buy some formula the next morning instead. I was reassured by someone that our luggage would be put back in the hold for our flight but I was skeptical.

The night in the hotel was rough. They didn’t have a crib so I made a pillow barricade on the bed but I was so nervous I barely slept. Arya didn’t do much better and at 6 am I put her in the stroller and wheeled her to sleep and we both slept for three hours. Then we had to take a Lyft to Walgreens for formula and it was about 95 degrees and 100 percent humidity. I was completely soaked with sweat when we got to the airport.

When we got to the airport I asked to be let off in baggage claim in order to make sure my bag was where it was supposed to be because we would be screwed without it. I had a feeling it might not be on the flight, and I was right. I spent 45 minutes being bounced all over and then this really nice airline employee was like: ” you can’t make this woman with a baby do this!” And she helped me find my bag and got us to the flight.

The woman who sat next to us on the plane looked at Arya and proclaimed: ” she smells like cheese!” She also told me that I couldn’t ask for a better seat mate because she loves kids and taught preschool for 10 years. Then she complained about the other kids on the flight, loudly and within earshot of their parents. I spent the ( luckily short) flight pretending to sleep so she would stop talking to me and to make it clear to the other parents that we were not traveling together.

We spent the first half of the trip at my sister’s house with my parents. We mostly swam and relaxed in the pool because it was super hot. It was so nice to have help and I was able to take some naps and go out by myself- such a luxury. On one of the days we picked strawberries and raspberries at a nearby farm. Everyone got into it- even my mom. The fields smelled like jam and the berries were super sweet. And Arya was chill and slept most of the time we were there. It as such a perfect upstate New York summer day.

I also got to see some friends- including my best friend who drove up from New York to meet Arya. I really wish we lived in the same city!

It was really hard to see my sister say goodbye to Arya. For some of the car ride I even ( briefly) contemplated moving back to New York.

Buffalo was pretty relaxing. We just hung out at my parent’s house and had lots of visitors. It was super great to see family, but we had a ton of visitors. And I found myself stressing that Arya would be ” good” while people were around. Arya is a really chill baby- but she is a baby and she is getting more aware of the world and her own likes/dislikes. She definitely had some meltdowns and wasn’t always down to be held by every single person who visited. I found myself apologizing a lot which is ridiculous because no one can expect a baby to be easygoing all of the time. I think some of this stress comes from being a single mom by choice and some feelings that I have to prove myself capable of raising a baby alone.

I also noticed that my mom was much more difficult when we were staying at her house. She argued with me a lot more about parenting stuff- mainly she thought the baby was always cold even though it was like 90 degrees out. I felt myself reverting back to feeling 16.

Despite this, we had a great time. And Arya rolled over for the first time! It was actually a back to front roll and it was extra special because me and my parents all saw it. Now she seems to have also mastered the front to back. No more leaving her on my bed or the couch for ” just a minute.”

My parents were so so sad to say goodbye to Arya and it just killed me. I definitely think we will be making the trip a lot more.

Right now we are on a four hour layover in Boston ( what was I thinking?) Arya smelt tbd while flight and so far has been snoozing away for the past two hours in the airport. Cross your fingers that this continues..

On the road again

We are heading to NY for two weeks with my family. Arya was a fabulous traveler when we meant to New Mexico but a cross country flight is a whole different ball of wax ( such a gross expression), so I’m crossing my fingers and toes she is ok.

Yesterday, I got an email from United asking if we wanted to take advantage of a promotion and switch to business class. I looked at it out of curiosity and it was about 1/4 of the price I expected it to be. I decided to go for it because hey- infant cross country travel is no joke.

Now we are at the airport in the fancy first class lounge. Our flight is delayed and we may be spending the night in New York City but I’m trying not to worry too much until I have to.

I brought a few 8 ounce bottles of pre-mixed formula and airport security was freaking out- even though formula is supposed to be exempt from the three ounce rule. They wanted me to open them- which completely defeats the purpose because they would go bad. So they decided I could leave them closed but they had to subject me to a complete pat down and search every inch of our carry on bags. Arya found this to be super entertaining- but I didn’t: