My dad got the results of his tests back and he has to have surgery two days after Christmas. The surgery will include removing a tumor and a large part of the roof of his mouth and some reconstructive surgery. According to my dad (who I have mentioned isn’t the best at complete honesty) the cancer hasn’t spread so they want to get it out ASAP. If this is really the case, his prognosis is decent and I have my fingers crossed that everything goes well. I can tell he is really nervous and it’s really putting a damper on the holiday but we are all doing our best to enjoy this time as much as we can.
Arya and I have been at my parent’s house since the 19th and we will be here until the 28th. So we will be here for the surgery but very little of the recovery. I thought about changing my flight to stay longer but I’m not sure having a baby around will help ease stress. Although she definitely makes people smile ( she is a baby after all) she has recently started experiencing some separation anxiety. The timing sucks because my family definitely needs some baby snuggles but Arya starts crying about 70% of the time someone else tries to hold her or watch her. I can’t even leave the room when I finally have help. My sister and dad seem to understand it’s just a baby phase but my mom seems to be taking it very personally. Sadly she is really in need of some baby snuggles but she is really frustrating me with her comments about me causing this by ” spoiling ” Arya. But I’m trying to take it in stride given the added stress of my dad’s illness.
Also, my aunt ( who is my mom’s best friend) has cancer too and her prognosis is really bad. I’ve been ” negotiating ” over text with her son to try and get us all together for Christmas. We have all spent the holiday together for as long as I can remember but over the last few years him, his wife, and their two ( now three kids) have been going out for Chinese while my aunt and uncle and his sister spend Christmas with us. It definitely seems that this is an issue his wife has but it’s really weird. This year, my aunt and uncle are going for Chinese food too ( I’m assuming because she wants to spend what will likely be one of her last Christmas’s with her son and grandkids), when it’s obvious she would prefer we all have Christmas together. My mom was in tears the other day talking about how she knows my aunt is dying and that she wants to spend time with her. Me and my sister were so fed up with this selfish bullshit so I sent her son this text:
He didn’t respond. I’m assuming he was either ignoring it or fighting with his wife about it. After 24 hours of silence I got annoyed and sent: “what’s up? Are you just not going to respond?”
Then he sent this total BS about his baby being sick and how they would try to make it.
I’m so frustrated. This isn’t about his wife and their petty weirdness. It’s about our parents both being sick and having one last holiday all together. I’m fully aware I may be projecting a bit but I’m just so angry at them. I get that he is dealing with his mother’s illness but it’s just so selfish and shitty. I’m assuming they won’t show up but I’m holding on to some hope that they will.
To end this on a more positive note, I got the most adorable picture of Arya with Santa ( no separation anxiety with him 🤔)
Work is starting a bit later today and I have an extra 30 minutes before getting on the train. I stopped at one of the myriad of new hipster coffee shops in my neighborhood and am eating a croissant and latte contemplating nothing in particular. Baby- free time can be so re-charging.
Last night I took Arya to a work event and she was a total rockstar and hung out in a huge crowd smiling and playing with strangers. I’m again so so thankful to have such an easy baby. And it doesn’t hurt that she is at the most adorable age.
I have been dreaming of having a kid on Halloween for years and it finally happened. I took Arya trick or treating with my friends and their 1 year old. The kids had no idea what was up but it was adorable and I get to eat all of the candy so it was a win/win. I am such a nerd for Halloween that I bought Arya’s costume 4 months before she was born. I had to get it because I’m obsessed with dinosaurs and the costume is a baby dinosaur hatching from an egg. I also made myself a matching mommy dinosaur costume. Arya was shockingly chill about keeping her costume on-even in the summer-like heat we were having. Here she is in all her adorable dinosaurness:
I have officially survived my first two weeks back at work. I was cautiously optimistic that Arya would transition well. She goes to daycare at my gym with a random assortment of people and I leave her with several of my friends regularly. But, this is definitely the longest stretch of time we have been apart and it is in a new environment with lots of strange people so the possibility of her freaking out was still there. On the first day I’m sure she was picking up on my nervousness because she seemed a little more sensitive than usual. It also didn’t help that she woke up with her first cold ever. She was extra clingy when I took her out of the crib and immediately fell asleep in my arms. I snuggled her in my bed and tried not to cry. But when I dropped her off she seemed fine and even smiled at the teacher that took her from me.
We did a quick five hour day and they said she was fine and even napped twice. They use an app that gives you constant updates on feedings, naps, and diaper changes and they even sent a bunch of pictures. It was really reassuring and helped me to relax and focus on my first day of work.
It was definitely weird being back at my job after six months off . But my coworkers are awesome and everyone kept asking about Arya and telling me how happy they were that I was back. They even had a bunch of treats in my honor.
We have since settled into a good rhythm and everything is going well so far. Having daycare two blocks from my house and a very flexible work schedule has been key. And I feel… really happy and content about my life right now. I’m much mite present when I’m with Arya and she goes down early enough that I still have a few hours to myself at night. And I’ve even become way more efficient at work because I need to get everything done in the 7.5 hours I’m there.
Unfortunately, on the Friday of our first week of daycare/work I came down with a terrible cold and Arya’s seemed to get worse. Arya woke up at 4am Saturday morning and didn’t sleep for more than 10 minutes until 6pm that night. I was delirious and it was so so hard but I got through it- although we didn’t leave the house for two days.
Here are some cute pictures of her at daycare:
Things have been a whirlwind and my maternity leave is quickly coming to an end. We took a two day trip to Las Vegas to stay with a friend, her partner, and their one year old in a huge suite booked for a work trip. I watched both kids so they could celebrate a birthday and ( shockingly) it was really hard. I got both kids down at the same time and was all ” this isn’t too hard.” But then they both woke up screaming and was faced with the dilemma of how to comfort a screaming toddler and baby at the same time. I finally settled on rocking Arya in the stroller while holding the toddler. Just when they finally calmed down, my friends came home and their toddler fell into their arms immediately becoming a crying, blubbering, mess. This did not instill confidence in my already super anxious friend ( I’m one of the only people she will let babysit).
Despite Las Vegas being the antithesis of ” baby friendly” we had a pretty good time walking around and going to the pool. For an inexplicable reason, most of them were really shallow ( like 10 inches deep). This was perfect for some baby swimming ( sorry fancy hotel guests hoping to have a relaxing and sophisticated day at your super fancy pool).
And Arya started solids and is a vigorous and enthusiastic eater- just like her mama.
Arya had her four month checkup yesterday. She is in the 20th percentile for weight and height and doctor said she is doing great overall and met all of her milestones. They gave her the second set of vaccinations and she was as upset as you would expect. I gave her some Tylenol when we got home and she zonked out and slept and slept and …. slept for fourteen hours straight! I’m still in shock. I checked on her a million times convinced something was wrong but she woke up with a huge, satisfied smile. And she finally noticed one of the cats today: