This outfit isn’t particularly cute ( and Arya spit up on it) but it made me really emotional to see her in it this morning. It’s the outfit I bought while I was doing IVF and didn’t know whether it would work. Everyone tells you not to do this but I needed to do something hopeful after 2 years of surgeries, appointments, giving myself hundreds of injections in my belly, and spending tons of $$$$. I bought this when I had just transferred my one “ good” embryo- whittled down from 35 others with genetic abnormalities. This was my only shot and I wanted a baby more than anything. When I brought this outfit home I remember looking at it and not being able to imagine I would ever have a baby to wear it. I stuffed it deep inside a drawer thinking it would make it even harder when the embryo transfer didn’t work.
And now I have this amazing tiny human and I can’t even express how grateful I am for her and her loud belly laughs and smiles.
Arya has four siblings that I know of. The sperm bank I used has their own sibling registry and I finally got around to registering us. Three of the babies are boy triplets. I really hope that the parents of these kids want to connect. I write a message a few weeks ago and haven’t heard anything back yet. But the messages are housed on a private bulletin board that doesn’t give notifications that someone has posted. So, I’m hoping they will still contact me.
Also, I talked to Arya’s daycare and she starts September 1st. This made me a lot sadder than I expected to be. I always predicted I would be super ready to go back to work but I wish I had six more months. I’m also having strong urges to have another baby. ( more on that later).
Figuring out what hands are for
Scheming for world domination?
The Bay Area in June.
My health plan doesn’t cover anything even remotely infertility related. (Although, the second a baby is growing in my uterus it will be 100% covered). I met with the “reproductive endocrinologist (RE)” ( $245 for a half hour) who had previously diagnosed me with a “mild” case of polycystic ovarian syndrome. I got the diagnosis two years ago when my now ex-husband and I had met with him because I wasn’t getting pregnant.
When I made this appointment, I was careful to tell them that I was no longer married and that I would be doing this on my own. Unfortunately, this didn’t make it into my chart, and the doctor immediately asked me why my husband wasn’t there. This was an honest mistake, and instead of changing the subject gracefully after I informed him we were now divorced, he stammered, turned red, and blurted out: “that’s a picture of my daughter and she just got a Fullbright scholarship!.” Umm what?? I wasn’t sure how to respond so I just faked excitement and exclaimed “wow, that’s great!” After an awkward pause Dr. Awkward began going over my treatment plan.
I am 38, which is considered “old” in the world of reproduction, but the blood tests he had ordered showed that my lady parts may still have some life left in them. Dr. Awkward said that the best way to determine my chances of conception are to test my “ovarian reserve.” The main predictors are a blood test that tests the amount of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and an ultrasound where they county your follicles. My FSH level was a “reassuring” 4.1 (they never say good in the world of infertility. My follicle count was also “reassuring” but they never told me how many they found.
We made a plan that I would take a drug called Femera, which stimulates ovulation and would begin Intrauterine Inseminations (IUI’s) with donor sperm . I was then given the homework of choosing a sperm donor ASAP.