Arya has four siblings that I know of. The sperm bank I used has their own sibling registry and I finally got around to registering us. Three of the babies are boy triplets. I really hope that the parents of these kids want to connect. I write a message a few weeks ago and haven’t heard anything back yet. But the messages are housed on a private bulletin board that doesn’t give notifications that someone has posted. So, I’m hoping they will still contact me.

Also, I talked to Arya’s daycare and she starts September 1st. This made me a lot sadder than I expected to be. I always predicted I would be super ready to go back to work but I wish I had six more months. I’m also having strong urges to have another baby. ( more on that later).

Figuring out what hands are for

Scheming for world domination?

The Bay Area in June.

So many needles!

I had my baseline ultrasound and all is looking well in my nether region.  The doctor said I would be getting my period very soon because he could see my uterus cramping on the screen ( weird). Before he left the room, Dr. Cowboy gave me a pep talk about fighting my HMO for the fibroid surgery. I told him I get paid to argue and I’m not going to let them bully me.

The nurse gave me a one on one class on how to do the injections. She had me bring some of my meds in because they are the weird European kind. I brought them in my space cats lunchbox with an ice pack and that made her laugh.

When I got home I made a little place in my bathroom to store everything. I also put the schedule on the wall so I can remember to check it off each time.

The impending injections had my anxiety working overtime. Distracting myself with a project and cooking dinner helped a bit. I have my fingers and toes crossed that the injections won’t send me further down the depression/ anxiety rabbit hole.

Treat Yourself 

I have my baseline ultrasound and blood tests tomorrow. The nurse is also going to show me how to do the injections. I’m a ball of nerves. It doesn’t help that stopping the birth control sent me into an intense 24 hour depression. I have my fingers crossed that the injections won’t have the same effect.

I am still dairy and gluten free and this little dessert has been saving my life. Its just frozen bananas, a tablespoon of peanut butter, a pinch of cocoa powder, and some almond milk blended in a food processor. I added some sprinkles tonight cause I deserve it.

Where in the world are my fertility drugs?

In an effort to cut costs I have decided to take a leap of faith and order my drugs online from a company in Israel called IVFprescriptions.com.  The price difference will be a little over $1600 (seriously).  I have researched (aka googled) the hell out of this company to make sure I wasn’t being scammed.  Everything I was able to find (not much) was positive.

The sketchiest part of this transaction is that I have to pay $2373 by international wire transfer.  So, if this is a scam I’m seriously screwed.  I was able to call the 800 number for the office located in New York and I spoke to a very strange fellow who assured me that they do about 100 transactions a day.  The thing that made me more confident is that they won’t fill an order without a prescription from a U.S. doctor.

My bank wouldn’t do an international wire transfer, so after some back and forth they agreed to let me pay to a U.S. based bank.  I very nervously went to my bank to transfer the funds and immediately emailed the weird customer service guy who seemed baffled my the Monday (Colombus Day)  bank holiday.

I was on pins and needles for the next two days but I finally got confirmation that they had received my money and were processing my order.  I got a tracking number (with a random message that they also sent me skin products from the dead sea…ummm ok?).

I have been anxiously tracking my drugs ever since.  So far they have been to Tel Aviv and Queens, NYC.




Happy Birthday-you have diabetes!

A few days ago my doctor ordered me to take a bunch of blood glucose tests because I have PCOS which can cause insulim intolerance.  I had to drink this nasty sugary drink and have my blood drawn a few times in the two hours afterwards.

My HMO automatically emails me test results-usually with no explanation but the result and what a “normal range” would be.  Well I got the results via email and they didn’t look good. Just in the beginning of the “not normal” range.  I was at work so I shot a quick email to the doctor on the way to another Federal Court mediation.

During a lull in the mediation (which is pretty much the entire time) I got a response back from one of the NP’s.  She said they had diagnosed me with diabetes.  Who the hell gives someone a diagnosis of a disease via email???  I had to pretend not to be totally freaking out while frantically googling everything about diabetes on my phone.

I responded asking for more information and she replied quickly  saying she had misread my results and that I’m at risk for developing diabetes but that I don’t actually have it.  What?? I was very relived but also super pissed at this little oversight.

She did put me on a medication and suggested that I cut down on carbs which are my only joy these days..  arghhh

The sperm finds a home ( aka my first IUI )

I went in for an ultrasound a few days before I was scheduled to ovulate so they could make sure everything was working. I was happy to hear that I had two follicles ready to go. She estimated I would ovulate in a few days and told me to take ovulation tests the next couple days to pinpoint the exact time. If I didn’t get a positive by Friday I was instructed to give myself a ” trigger shot” in the stomach. ( eww).

On Thursday I took a test in my office’s bathroom and it came back positive. I was very surprised because my body had been failing me for so long. I decided I had to take a picture for posterity because something was finally working!


I called the office and scheduled my insemination for the following afternoon. Then I remembered that I had an all day meditation scheduled in Federal Court at the same time.  Awesome.

Luckily at least four other people would be at the mediation so I would be able to leave without too much difficulty.  My friend agreed to go with me for moral support.

The day of, I woke up at 5:30 because I had to drop the sperm off at the clinic by 7:30 A.M.  I casually ducked out of my mediation, picked up my friend, and went to the clinic.

The nurse said she would be doing a pap smear while she was already “up there.”  She also held up a vial and had me check twice that it was mine.  She also checked the bracelet they had put on me twice.  I joked that “something crazy must have happened” to inspire so much caution.  She didn’t laugh.


When she came back in the room she put the sperm in a long catheter and gave it to me to keep warm while she did the pap smear.  My friend laughed and said it was the first time she was present for someone else’s pap.

Then it was time.  I handed the nurse the catheter and she poked it through my cervix and slowly released the sperm.  It felt a little anti-climatic so I was like “should we say something to cheer it on?”  The nurse suggested singing to it but I couldn’t think of anything appropriate.  She had me lie on my side and said I should relax for twenty minutes.

When she left the room we were suddenly full of questions.  How do they freeze something alive and thaw it out and it comes back to life?  Where exactly are my eggs?  How far do the sperm have to go?  When we got in the car we googled a few videos that showed the whole fertilization process but we weren’t able to find anything that explains how sperm can come back to life.

(That night I actually watched the updated NOVA sequel to”the Miracle of Life” and I highly recommend it).  


I heard from my co-workers that the mediation would be continuing late so I headed back over to the court. When I walked back in the room all I could think about was: “I have sperm dripping out of me and these people have no idea.”