Family

We had a bit of an adventure after arriving in New York on Tuesday. We did miss our connection and when I went to the desk to rebook our flight it was 50 people long so I went into the first class lounge hoping they would let us in. Thank god I did because we were helped right away and they gave us a hotel, a taxi voucher to the hotel, and a food voucher even though they weren’t obligated to do it because the delay was due to weather. They were also able to rebook is for the next day. Originally, not until 7pm but she pulled some strings and got us on an earlier flight. People definitely want to help a solo mom with a baby- at least in this instance.

They attempted to pull our luggage so I could get extra formula and diapers but after waiting an hour and being told it would be several more at 12:30 AM, I decided to buy some formula the next morning instead. I was reassured by someone that our luggage would be put back in the hold for our flight but I was skeptical.

The night in the hotel was rough. They didn’t have a crib so I made a pillow barricade on the bed but I was so nervous I barely slept. Arya didn’t do much better and at 6 am I put her in the stroller and wheeled her to sleep and we both slept for three hours. Then we had to take a Lyft to Walgreens for formula and it was about 95 degrees and 100 percent humidity. I was completely soaked with sweat when we got to the airport.

When we got to the airport I asked to be let off in baggage claim in order to make sure my bag was where it was supposed to be because we would be screwed without it. I had a feeling it might not be on the flight, and I was right. I spent 45 minutes being bounced all over and then this really nice airline employee was like: ” you can’t make this woman with a baby do this!” And she helped me find my bag and got us to the flight.

The woman who sat next to us on the plane looked at Arya and proclaimed: ” she smells like cheese!” She also told me that I couldn’t ask for a better seat mate because she loves kids and taught preschool for 10 years. Then she complained about the other kids on the flight, loudly and within earshot of their parents. I spent the ( luckily short) flight pretending to sleep so she would stop talking to me and to make it clear to the other parents that we were not traveling together.

We spent the first half of the trip at my sister’s house with my parents. We mostly swam and relaxed in the pool because it was super hot. It was so nice to have help and I was able to take some naps and go out by myself- such a luxury. On one of the days we picked strawberries and raspberries at a nearby farm. Everyone got into it- even my mom. The fields smelled like jam and the berries were super sweet. And Arya was chill and slept most of the time we were there. It as such a perfect upstate New York summer day.

I also got to see some friends- including my best friend who drove up from New York to meet Arya. I really wish we lived in the same city!

It was really hard to see my sister say goodbye to Arya. For some of the car ride I even ( briefly) contemplated moving back to New York.

Buffalo was pretty relaxing. We just hung out at my parent’s house and had lots of visitors. It was super great to see family, but we had a ton of visitors. And I found myself stressing that Arya would be ” good” while people were around. Arya is a really chill baby- but she is a baby and she is getting more aware of the world and her own likes/dislikes. She definitely had some meltdowns and wasn’t always down to be held by every single person who visited. I found myself apologizing a lot which is ridiculous because no one can expect a baby to be easygoing all of the time. I think some of this stress comes from being a single mom by choice and some feelings that I have to prove myself capable of raising a baby alone.

I also noticed that my mom was much more difficult when we were staying at her house. She argued with me a lot more about parenting stuff- mainly she thought the baby was always cold even though it was like 90 degrees out. I felt myself reverting back to feeling 16.

Despite this, we had a great time. And Arya rolled over for the first time! It was actually a back to front roll and it was extra special because me and my parents all saw it. Now she seems to have also mastered the front to back. No more leaving her on my bed or the couch for ” just a minute.”

My parents were so so sad to say goodbye to Arya and it just killed me. I definitely think we will be making the trip a lot more.

Right now we are on a four hour layover in Boston ( what was I thinking?) Arya smelt tbd while flight and so far has been snoozing away for the past two hours in the airport. Cross your fingers that this continues..

3 thoughts on “Family

      1. There is a huge pressure to be “good” parents and to have a “good” baby. My son pretty much only let me and my parents hold him until he was 3. Family got over it and friends respected it. The important thing is that you want to nurture her relationships with the people you care about and doing that includes respecting her needs and desires. Check out Janet Lansbury and RIE.

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