I’m so lucky to have an awesome friend willing to babysit so I had my first night out since having Arya on Wednesday. I went to see the band Snail Mail who I have been obsessed with for the past year. They are fronted by an amazing 19 year old female guitar player/songwriter. She takes up space unlike many musicians twice her age and growls/sings in such a unique and badass way. I had such a great time and bounced around and sang along.
And I only thought about the baby the whole time and checked my phone at least 100 times in the 5 hours I was gone. But hey, it’s a start.
I had a great moment in the bathroom where I found myself hating on my body in the mirror. Then I thought to myself, I’m not going to be fucking 40 years old and still hating on my body! It felt so good- and actually worked for the most part.
When I got home my awesome friend had put Arya down but forgot to take off her bib. Although it was after midnight I risked waking her up by taking it off of her because it could block her airway. Well- it woke her up and when she was almost completely asleep after 45 minutes of rocking her back to sleep-she projectile vomited all over both of us and peed all over herself when I was changing her.
Sometimes I do miss having a partner just so I can commiserate and laugh at times like these. Especially after this time a few months ago when she projectile pooped over my shoulder ( really) and it splattered on the wall.