I’m so lucky to have an awesome friend willing to babysit so I had my first night out since having Arya on Wednesday. I went to see the band Snail Mail who I have been obsessed with for the past year. They are fronted by an amazing 19 year old female guitar player/songwriter. She takes up space unlike many musicians twice her age and growls/sings in such a unique and badass way. I had such a great time and bounced around and sang along.
And I only thought about the baby the whole time and checked my phone at least 100 times in the 5 hours I was gone. But hey, it’s a start.
I had a great moment in the bathroom where I found myself hating on my body in the mirror. Then I thought to myself, I’m not going to be fucking 40 years old and still hating on my body! It felt so good- and actually worked for the most part.
When I got home my awesome friend had put Arya down but forgot to take off her bib. Although it was after midnight I risked waking her up by taking it off of her because it could block her airway. Well- it woke her up and when she was almost completely asleep after 45 minutes of rocking her back to sleep-she projectile vomited all over both of us and peed all over herself when I was changing her.
Sometimes I do miss having a partner just so I can commiserate and laugh at times like these. Especially after this time a few months ago when she projectile pooped over my shoulder ( really) and it splattered on the wall.
I’m trying to keep myself in check when it comes to buying baby clothes. I have a few friends with kids slightly older than Arya so I have a ton of hand me downs which are more than enough to sustain us.
But, I can’t resist buying a few things. Especially because Target has the cutest baby clothes ever and it’s just too easy to throw something in the cart when I’m buying stuff we actually need. For example this ridiculous hat:
And these rompers:
As you can probably tell, I’m not a huge fan of ” traditional” girls clothes. I do like some of them, but I just don’t think my daughter needs to be wearing pink, bows, or ruffles 24/7. Also, in my search for baby clothes, I’ve stumbled on some really gross examples of “sexy” baby clothes- like this:
In addition to all of the ” princess” and ” cute” slogans everywhere, I hate the stuff about how dads have to ” protect” their daughters from boys:
It’s never too early to start on girls on hating their bodies:
And I’m not sure what to even say about this:
I know it will be impossible to insulate her from a lot of these things but you please keep your gross gender stereotypes away from my kid for a little while?
Since Arya was born I’ve been a bit obsessed over what her eye color will eventually be. As with most white babies, she was born with blue eyes. They are a pretty dark blue though so they could turn green or more likely brown at anytime.
I guess my obsession stems from me and my family all having blue eyes. I always said I didn’t care but deep down I really want her to look like me. She has most of my facial features already so blue eyes or not it will be obvious she is mine.
I really wanted to choose a donor with blue eyes but it seemed so unimportant when it came down to choosing. Especially considering that his health history was so great and he seemed like a pretty great human all around. I just read an article that said a baby’s eyes can change until they are three so I guess I have to be patient.
While I’m happy to hear our disgusting president signed an executive order to address family separation the fight is far from over.
(reposted from Carwil Bjork James) The order is not a solution, and it makes some things worse:
Here’s what it actually does…
1. Codifies Jeff Sessions’ “zero tolerance” directive until new immigration legislation is passed.
2. Limits the definition of family to parent-child pairs. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. are excluded.
3. Puts families under Homeland Security custody during criminal, immigration cases. Previously, children and detained families had to be held in facilities contracted by the Department of Health and Human Services.
3c. Authorizes the military to build new prisons for migrant families.
3d. Allows all Federal departments to offer their buildings as prisons.
3e. Authorizes the DOJ to try to wriggle out of the Flores Agreement.
4. Orders parents to be prosecuted first in immigration courts
Text of EO: https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/affording-congress-opportunity-address-family-separation/
Arya has four siblings that I know of. The sperm bank I used has their own sibling registry and I finally got around to registering us. Three of the babies are boy triplets. I really hope that the parents of these kids want to connect. I write a message a few weeks ago and haven’t heard anything back yet. But the messages are housed on a private bulletin board that doesn’t give notifications that someone has posted. So, I’m hoping they will still contact me.
Also, I talked to Arya’s daycare and she starts September 1st. This made me a lot sadder than I expected to be. I always predicted I would be super ready to go back to work but I wish I had six more months. I’m also having strong urges to have another baby. ( more on that later).
Figuring out what hands are for
Scheming for world domination?
The Bay Area in June.
I’m so so blessed to be on maternity leave for six months so I decided to take a small vacation while I have the time. My friend and I had been talking about going to Santa Fe to see the Meow Wolf exhibit so I convinced her to take a week off to explore Northern New Mexico with me and Arya. Luckily, she loves babies, so unlike most people she was excited about traveling with a three month old.
It’s shocking how much crap you need to travel with an infant. I was adamant that we would be bringing our beloved rock and play along- because Arya sleeps so well in it. After several foiled attempts at ordering one delivered to the local Target so we could use it for a week and then return it ( sorry not sorry ) I realized I could take it apart and put it in the suitcase. In the end we had one huge suitcase, one small suitcase, the stroller/car seat, and a diaper bag. Not too bad but it sure looks like a lot more when all together:
We stayed at an air bnb with a nice but very strange couple. The husband told my friend that he is 400 years old from not drinking flouride ( ummm..).
We spent the first day at Meow Wolf and it far exceeded our expectations! It’s very hard to describe but basically, it’s an all immersive art exhibit with a sci-fi backstory. The exhibit has several different ” worlds” and is a collaboration of tons of artists and it is constantly changing. I can’t recommend it enough. We stayed for four hours but could have happily spent another day. When Arya was actually awake, she loved looking at everything.
The next day we hiked around Bandelier National Monument where you can hike around and explore well preserved pueblos in this beautiful canyon. People thought we were crazy hiking in the desert with a three month old but she did great.
The next day was my 40th birthday! We are tons of great food and I got a massage. We splurged on a fancy dinner but our much less expensive breakfast was the big highlight- blue corn cakes with mole, syrup, and red chile sauces:
I thought I would be more freaked out about turning 40 but I feel pretty great about it. The issue that would give me the most pause when getting older was always my worry about running out of time to have a baby. I also have an awesome community of friends, my relationship with my family has never been better, I have a good career and I’ve certainly taken advantage of my first 40 years by living life by my own rules and traveling extensively. So yeah 40 is feeling pretty good!
We also spent some time in Taos where I saw an old friend ( who is also a single mom), saw some absolutely spectacular nature, and ate our way through Northern New Mexico. I’m already daydreaming about taking Arya on our next adventure.