My baby is moving a lot these days! It really started the day after the 20 week ultrasound. I was sitting in my “cozy” chair at work and I felt a bunch of jabs below my belly button. It seems like such a big deal after trying to get pregnant for so long but it feels less like a kick and more like a “pop!.” I’m also feeling lots of the flutters and bubbles that so many people talk about. Sometimes I talk to her and try and push back to see if I can get her going but she doesn’t seem to understand the game yet. It still blows my mind that there is a human living inside me.
This past weekend I started my huge decluttering/making room for the baby project. I took about 20 bags of stuff to goodwill (mostly books and clothes). It used to give me a big sense of pride to have a huge shelf of books in my living room and I would silently judge people who didn’t have any books in their homes. Now, it just seems like a huge waste of space-which is at a huge premium in Oakland. My bookshelf is now moving to my bedroom and will be almost exclusively baby storage. I also moved a big corner of my living room that was dedicated to craft projects and my sewing machine. I had big plans of doing a ton of sewing projects while pregnant including finishing a superhero quilt that I started for my friend’s baby (who is not 3 months old). With the exception of a quick halloween costume project, I haven’t touched it for months. Now my craft supplies/sewing machine live in my front closet. Oh how the times have changed..
The baby was less active after moving all of this stuff around so I let my brain spin out for a little while that I had hurt her in some way. I even went as far as to buy a really cheap fetal heart monitor that didn’t work at all. Later that night she gave me a bunch of big kicks probably telling me to chill the fuck out. For every milestone in this pregnancy i’ve been sure I would stop worrying, but I think it just never stops. I have a feeling this will be similar to being an actual parent.
I go to this storytelling event every so often because I’m one of those weird people that loves speaking in public. The stories are supposed to be “spontaneous” so you put your name in a hat to volunteer before you know what the theme will be. This month’s theme was “blessings” and i told the story of how I got pregnant. It went over really well and it felt great to talk about infertility and single mamahood so openly. Afterwards, a woman came up to me and said “its a girl right?” When i replied “yes” she said she just knew it from looking at me and walked away. Ummm ok… People are so weird about pregnancy.
I’ve been getting a ton of hand me downs from friends. I decided to try out my ergo carrier on my cat and he was obsessed and wouldn’t stopped purring. Maybe I can take him for a walk in it?
Also, I can’t believe how cute and tiny some of these clothes are: