telling the world

So my nausea has reared its disgusting head again.  Unfortunately, my new office has public restrooms on each floor so I’ve had the excellent experience of puking in a stall next to an uncomfortable person scrambling to finish peeing so they can get out of there.  If this continues I’m going to try the Zofran (which is also prescribed to people with cancer) to see if I can get some relief.  I weighed myself yesterday and I’ve lost 5 pounds since I got pregnant which can’t be good.   it’s so strange to be really excited and grateful to be pregnant but to actually hate being (physically) pregnant.  Oh appetite, how I miss you!

In happier news, I went “public” on social media.  I wanted to poke fun at pregnancy photo shoots and I was planning on doing something completely ridiculous involving a picture of both my cats paws on my belly and something like “we are adding to our pack!,” but it proved to be very difficult to execute and I suck at photoshop so i did this instead:

“I’m excited to finally announce that I’m having a baby in March! This purposefully solo project has been a really long journey for me and I’m so happy to finally be sharing this with my amazing community. I can’t wait for you all to meet my little bean!”

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The response was overwhelming and I feel so incredibly loved and supported.  The lone annoying comment was from my dumbass cousin who asked “like a real baby.?” umm “yes!” its not an ultrasound of a cat.  I decided to completely own that I’m a single mom by choice because it’s awesome and I’m proud of it.  The next day my mom wrote something on her facebook and revealed the gender (which i purposefully din’t do).  I was not amused, but I decided to let it go because she is so happy and excited about the baby.  I have a feeling I’m going to have to “let go” of a lot of things involving my mom over the next few years..

 

12 weeks tomorrow!

I have pretty much told everyone in my immediate vicinity about the baby at this point.  I’m planning a ridiculous facebook announcement to put up soon.  It pokes fun at the idea of pregnancy announcements  so hopefully it won’t offend too many people.

My nausea is finally getting better.  I was about to start taking a pretty hardcore drug called Zofran but the day after I was supposed to pick it up, things started getting better so I’ve decided to wait it out.

My energy is also getting much better and I had an actual weekend where I saw people and stayed out past 8.  Friday, I saw the movie IT (i love horror movies) and it was surprisingly good.  Saturday I had to work and then I officiated a wedding!  It was my first time marrying people and I was super nervous but it went great.  I got to see a lot of my former co-workers and it was fun to tell everyone about the pregnancy.  On Sunday I went with my friend and her 6 month old to a free petting zoo in Berkeley.  It was super fun and he seemed really excited about the animals.

I got the results of my genetic test and she is still a girl and all the genetics look good.  I wasn’t super surprised because it was a PGS tested embryo but it was still a relief.  It was also reassuring to know the baby is still in there and growing because they were able to pull enough fetal DNA from my blood to get the results.  I have my next ultrasound in about 10 days and I’m anxious to see her looking slightly more baby-like on the scan.

Last week I failed the one hour glucose test which isn’t a huge surprise because of my PCOS (which causes insulin intolerance).  They usually don’t give the test this early and it was hard drinking the gross sugary drink and not puking.  The nurse had no sympathy for my plight and kept telling me to speed up.  If I did puke I would have tried to aim for her shoes.  I now have to take a 3 hour test which I’m planning on doing tomorrow if it works out.  I’m preparing myself for getting diagnosed with gestational diabetes which totally sucks but at this point I just have to deal with it.

My pregnancy tracker sends me articles every day about the horrors of pregnancy.  One of them last week was about how some pregnant people grow third (fully lactating) nipples.  I’ve never talked to anyone who had this happen (or maybe they kept it a secret?) but it I get one I’m telling everybody!

Oh and my belly is definitely getting rounder and tighter around the sides.  I’m not sure I look pregnant yet but I think that is going to happen soon which seems completely surreal.

Here is a scary picture of what the baby is supposed to look like this week and a cute picture of my cats so this doesn’t end on a creepy note.

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I’m a puke monster

I’ve been nauseous ( most of the time) since week 6. But it’s been really bad the last two weeks. I’m lucky I have the option of working from home because I have been puking up a storm. I’m starting to worry that my coworkers think I have an eating disorder because our bathrooms are in such a public place.

I’ve been assured that this will get better when I hit 12 weeks ( only 8 days to go) and if the puking continues I’m really going to lose my shit.

Telling my parents

A few days ago I told my parents I’m pregnant. I was so so scared because they are pretty conservative and they didn’t know anything about the past 1.5 years of me trying to conceive. When I called, I asked them both to get on the phone which aroused a lot of suspicion. Then, I just blurted out: ” I’m pregnant, it’s a girl, and she’s coming in March!” There was an awkward silence and I said ” I’m serious, this isn’t a joke.”

I can’t remember exactly what they said ( I think it was something like “Wow we are shocked!” Then I just told them about how I found out I had fertility issues when I was trying with my ex- husband and I knew I needed to act on things soon because I’m 39. I also told them all about the IVF and how I only got the one good embryo.

They were really supportive and excited about it. I only got one comment from my mom about how I may not be able to afford it and I said that I can and changed the subject.

The next day my mom sent me this email:

I am so excited for you!  I was awake half of the night thinking of you and the baby.  I want you to keep the RELIC( I’ll explain the relic later) until after the baby is born and pray to it every day for a happy, healthy baby!  I love you and if you need anything let me know!   Love, Mom.  Also, let me know when I can tell people – I’m so excited!!!

I can’t tell you how happy this made me. As cliche as it is to say- I really feel like a huge weight has been lifted.