I’ve been busy adjusting to my new life as a person who doesn’t spend 3 hours plus in a car commuting every day and it still doesn’t feel completely real. I’m in week five of the new job and I’m loving my co-workers and commute a lot but I’m still adjusting to the much slower pace and the quiet. Also, I’m used to (and much happier) being really busy but I haven’t reached close to that level yet. That said, I’m really excited to be focusing on improving access to housing for low-income people-especially in this horrible political climate. And I have this view everyday (at least until we move offices):
Due to my new found freedom, I joined my local YMCA gym and actually have time to go. I have also been getting to regular meditation sits/classes. And I’m finally getting enough sleep and I hang out with people more-even on school nights! The idea of doing that commute after tasting my freedom feels impossible.
Oh and I got a ridiculous new tattoo! It’s my “i can get though anything and I’m still weird and punk rock” tattoo. It’s definitely my most “visible” work and I think it tips the scales from me being a “person with a lot of tattoos” to a “tattooed person.”It’s a portrait of my cat Oso in outer space and I absolutely love it:
Mexico was great! But it was definitely weird to stay at such a fancy resort as a single lady. A lot of people asked about my marital status and I kept getting seated directly next to couples because I think the staff thought I was lonely. Most of the food was buffet style and there is something very liberating about eating pizza and a sundae for lunch next to a table full of people sipping Rosé and picking at salads-especially as a plus sized woman. They also had free 24 hour room service and one night I ate some pot chocolate, ordered nachos and ate them in bed like a boss.
Most of my time was laying on the beach, swimming in the ocean, swimming in the pool, and reading. So it was perfect and exactly what I needed.
On the baby front I have also been making some moves. I am all healed up from my surgery and I’m anxious to throw some embryos up in my uterus. The tentative schedule is end of June. If that doesn’t work the plan is embryo donation-but lets not get too ahead of ourselves…
My doctor wants me to lose more weight and I’m having some feelings about it for sure. With the exception of my vacation, I have been eating much better. I’ve been sticking to a paleo-ish diet with some leeway (ie. sometimes a girl needs her pizza). And I have lost about 16 pounds since this fertility/pre-diabetes began and I’m feeling great. But my body just wants to hover at around 200 pounds-which is where it has been pretty much my entire adult life. This is 20 pounds more than where my doctor thinks I should be to increase the chances that my embryo will grow into a baby.
With the new job, I have finally been able to get on a more regular gym schedule. I usually run and lift weights 3-4 times a week. But as I said-the weight is just not coming off. So I’ve decided to just keep doing what I’m doing and to let the chips fall where they will. I just cannot go down the road to being even more strict with my food intake because this has been a slippery slope for me all of my life. I know I will have a kid somehow and I refuse to make myself completely crazy in the process.