Where in the world are my fertility drugs?

In an effort to cut costs I have decided to take a leap of faith and order my drugs online from a company in Israel called IVFprescriptions.com.  The price difference will be a little over $1600 (seriously).  I have researched (aka googled) the hell out of this company to make sure I wasn’t being scammed.  Everything I was able to find (not much) was positive.

The sketchiest part of this transaction is that I have to pay $2373 by international wire transfer.  So, if this is a scam I’m seriously screwed.  I was able to call the 800 number for the office located in New York and I spoke to a very strange fellow who assured me that they do about 100 transactions a day.  The thing that made me more confident is that they won’t fill an order without a prescription from a U.S. doctor.

My bank wouldn’t do an international wire transfer, so after some back and forth they agreed to let me pay to a U.S. based bank.  I very nervously went to my bank to transfer the funds and immediately emailed the weird customer service guy who seemed baffled my the Monday (Colombus Day)  bank holiday.

I was on pins and needles for the next two days but I finally got confirmation that they had received my money and were processing my order.  I got a tracking number (with a random message that they also sent me skin products from the dead sea…ummm ok?).

I have been anxiously tracking my drugs ever since.  So far they have been to Tel Aviv and Queens, NYC.

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Choosing another donor.

Dr. Cowboy doesn’t like my sperm bank. They explained that they are legal but not completely accredited.  Who knew this was a thing?  They are willing to let me keep them if I jump through a bunch of extra hoops, but I’ve decided to switch.I’m not super attached to my donor and as you may have read in my previous post, they aren’t the easiest to work with. And, a friend of mine got a contaminated sample from them recently.

The nurse said I have about two weeks to pick someone from the new bank. eeeekkk!

The donor catalog has baby pictures! This adds a whole new dimension to this decision. Most of the pictures are adorable but some of the donors have pictures of them as awkward pre-teens. When you have a picture, it’s really hard not to focus on picking the cutest kid ever. 

I decided to focus on if the donor came across as someone who is empathetic and cares about the world. This is hard to do with such limited information but they do provide a short questionnaire and the donor’s employment history. Donor 1 is into meditation, world travel, and had started a non- profit for people with HIV/AIDS. Donor 2 is a teacher in an inner city school and an artist. The health history for both of them was pretty similar but #1’s was slightly better.

I was confidently leaning toward # 1 and then I noticed the section where they compare the donor’s looks to a celebrity. # 1 was described as a ” young Anthony Weiner” (Nooooo! )As in the Congressman who sent dick pics to a bunch of women he met on twitter! And he is not an attractive dude:


Donor 2 was described as David Denman,a very good looking dude from the show Parenthood:


I frantically went to my co- worker’s office for a reality check. “Am I being superficial because I’m overlooking what a great person donor 1 is because he looks like Anthony Weiner?” 

My friend validated my feelings. We decided that if I have a choice I should obviously pick the person I am most comfortable with and it’s impossible to make this decision in a non- superficial way. Also, I just can’t pick a donor that I will automatically associate with dick pics. And what was the sperm bank thinking when they chose to describe him as looking like Anthony Weiner?

Donor 2 it is!