The sperm finds a home ( aka my first IUI )

I went in for an ultrasound a few days before I was scheduled to ovulate so they could make sure everything was working. I was happy to hear that I had two follicles ready to go. She estimated I would ovulate in a few days and told me to take ovulation tests the next couple days to pinpoint the exact time. If I didn’t get a positive by Friday I was instructed to give myself a ” trigger shot” in the stomach. ( eww).

On Thursday I took a test in my office’s bathroom and it came back positive. I was very surprised because my body had been failing me for so long. I decided I had to take a picture for posterity because something was finally working!


I called the office and scheduled my insemination for the following afternoon. Then I remembered that I had an all day meditation scheduled in Federal Court at the same time.  Awesome.

Luckily at least four other people would be at the mediation so I would be able to leave without too much difficulty.  My friend agreed to go with me for moral support.

The day of, I woke up at 5:30 because I had to drop the sperm off at the clinic by 7:30 A.M.  I casually ducked out of my mediation, picked up my friend, and went to the clinic.

The nurse said she would be doing a pap smear while she was already “up there.”  She also held up a vial and had me check twice that it was mine.  She also checked the bracelet they had put on me twice.  I joked that “something crazy must have happened” to inspire so much caution.  She didn’t laugh.


When she came back in the room she put the sperm in a long catheter and gave it to me to keep warm while she did the pap smear.  My friend laughed and said it was the first time she was present for someone else’s pap.

Then it was time.  I handed the nurse the catheter and she poked it through my cervix and slowly released the sperm.  It felt a little anti-climatic so I was like “should we say something to cheer it on?”  The nurse suggested singing to it but I couldn’t think of anything appropriate.  She had me lie on my side and said I should relax for twenty minutes.

When she left the room we were suddenly full of questions.  How do they freeze something alive and thaw it out and it comes back to life?  Where exactly are my eggs?  How far do the sperm have to go?  When we got in the car we googled a few videos that showed the whole fertilization process but we weren’t able to find anything that explains how sperm can come back to life.

(That night I actually watched the updated NOVA sequel to”the Miracle of Life” and I highly recommend it).  


I heard from my co-workers that the mediation would be continuing late so I headed back over to the court. When I walked back in the room all I could think about was: “I have sperm dripping out of me and these people have no idea.”

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