This outfit isn’t particularly cute ( and Arya spit up on it) but it made me really emotional to see her in it this morning. It’s the outfit I bought while I was doing IVF and didn’t know whether it would work. Everyone tells you not to do this but I needed to do something hopeful after 2 years of surgeries, appointments, giving myself hundreds of injections in my belly, and spending tons of $$$$. I bought this when I had just transferred my one “ good” embryo- whittled down from 35 others with genetic abnormalities. This was my only shot and I wanted a baby more than anything. When I brought this outfit home I remember looking at it and not being able to imagine I would ever have a baby to wear it. I stuffed it deep inside a drawer thinking it would make it even harder when the embryo transfer didn’t work.
And now I have this amazing tiny human and I can’t even express how grateful I am for her and her loud belly laughs and smiles.
I have officially survived my first two weeks back at work. I was cautiously optimistic that Arya would transition well. She goes to daycare at my gym with a random assortment of people and I leave her with several of my friends regularly. But, this is definitely the longest stretch of time we have been apart and it is in a new environment with lots of strange people so the possibility of her freaking out was still there. On the first day I’m sure she was picking up on my nervousness because she seemed a little more sensitive than usual. It also didn’t help that she woke up with her first cold ever. She was extra clingy when I took her out of the crib and immediately fell asleep in my arms. I snuggled her in my bed and tried not to cry. But when I dropped her off she seemed fine and even smiled at the teacher that took her from me.
We did a quick five hour day and they said she was fine and even napped twice. They use an app that gives you constant updates on feedings, naps, and diaper changes and they even sent a bunch of pictures. It was really reassuring and helped me to relax and focus on my first day of work.
It was definitely weird being back at my job after six months off . But my coworkers are awesome and everyone kept asking about Arya and telling me how happy they were that I was back. They even had a bunch of treats in my honor.
We have since settled into a good rhythm and everything is going well so far. Having daycare two blocks from my house and a very flexible work schedule has been key. And I feel… really happy and content about my life right now. I’m much mite present when I’m with Arya and she goes down early enough that I still have a few hours to myself at night. And I’ve even become way more efficient at work because I need to get everything done in the 7.5 hours I’m there.
Unfortunately, on the Friday of our first week of daycare/work I came down with a terrible cold and Arya’s seemed to get worse. Arya woke up at 4am Saturday morning and didn’t sleep for more than 10 minutes until 6pm that night. I was delirious and it was so so hard but I got through it- although we didn’t leave the house for two days.
Here are some cute pictures of her at daycare:
Things have been a whirlwind and my maternity leave is quickly coming to an end. We took a two day trip to Las Vegas to stay with a friend, her partner, and their one year old in a huge suite booked for a work trip. I watched both kids so they could celebrate a birthday and ( shockingly) it was really hard. I got both kids down at the same time and was all ” this isn’t too hard.” But then they both woke up screaming and was faced with the dilemma of how to comfort a screaming toddler and baby at the same time. I finally settled on rocking Arya in the stroller while holding the toddler. Just when they finally calmed down, my friends came home and their toddler fell into their arms immediately becoming a crying, blubbering, mess. This did not instill confidence in my already super anxious friend ( I’m one of the only people she will let babysit).
Despite Las Vegas being the antithesis of ” baby friendly” we had a pretty good time walking around and going to the pool. For an inexplicable reason, most of them were really shallow ( like 10 inches deep). This was perfect for some baby swimming ( sorry fancy hotel guests hoping to have a relaxing and sophisticated day at your super fancy pool).
And Arya started solids and is a vigorous and enthusiastic eater- just like her mama.
Arya had her four month checkup yesterday. She is in the 20th percentile for weight and height and doctor said she is doing great overall and met all of her milestones. They gave her the second set of vaccinations and she was as upset as you would expect. I gave her some Tylenol when we got home and she zonked out and slept and slept and …. slept for fourteen hours straight! I’m still in shock. I checked on her a million times convinced something was wrong but she woke up with a huge, satisfied smile. And she finally noticed one of the cats today:
I was supposed to be tested to make sure the gestational diabetes were gone 6 weeks after I gave birth. It’s been 4 months and I still haven’t gone. I’m pretty sure this is because I don’t want to know but if I’m still diabetic I need to get it under control. I did check my blood sugar level a few months ago with my home machine. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. I guess I’m writing this to hold myself accountable. I need to stay healthy- especially with the baby relying solely on me.
I did reactivate my gym membership yesterday. It’s really pricey but they have drop in childcare! Arya did great and I got 1.5 carefree hours to workout. Wow is my body tight and sore from taking care of this baby. I’m hoping to make this a habit before I go back to work but I have realistic expectations for my capacity after I start back up. And I felt great afterwards. Also, if I just need a break I can drop Arya off and use the hot tub and sauna. The daycare woman highly recommend this.
I go back to work in six weeks! Six months felt like a lifetime before I had Arya but the cliche is right- it goes by super fast. I’m kind of looking forward to using my brain in different ways again but it’s going to be such a huge adjustment. I was holding Arya this morning thinking about leaving her in daycare and I started tearing up.
I’m super excited I found an affordable-ish daycare two blocks from home but I do wish they were a little more hands on regarding the transition process. They are so laid back that it makes me slightly worried. But I would probably be worried no matter what so I’m trying to just enjoy this last six weeks and not create horror scenarios in my head about what could possibly happen to her in daycare.
In other news, Arya rocked our six hour cross country flight. She literally didn’t make more than a peep and slept 80% of the time. Strangers complimented us and I felt like a proud mama. People were also super great and offered help constantly. Here are a few pictures of our journey: