Things are definitely progressing. On the second night Arya fell asleep with no crying after 20 minutes of me rubbing and patting her back. Unfortunately, she woke up at midnight and I noticed she had a fever so I had to pick her up to give her tylenol. I put her back to sleep with a bottle and put her back in the crib. She woke up two more times (once i’m pretty sure was due to an earthquake that I didn’t notice) but she put herself back to sleep pretty quickly both times. She was fine in the morning so I’m thinking the fever was due to some teething.
Last night I patted/rubbed her for ten minutes but left the room after she seemed to be getting more riled up from me being there. I let her cry for ten minutes, went in to comfort her for five minutes, and then she cried for ten more minutes. When I went back in the room she almost immediately fell asleep and she slept through the night until 6:30!
I’m thinking this quick success is due to her already being a good sleeper but I won’t count my chickens before they are hatched. I will say it feels great to be getting a more normal night of sleep again!
I’m also completely amazed at how much she seems to be developing these days. She is crawling everywhere and is talking almost constantly with more and more complex sounds. Yesterday she started clapping and today she figured out how to push herself back up to a sitting position from her tummy. She still has little interest in pulling herself up and walking (which is fine by me).
Arya was a bit of a mess when I picked her up from daycare. They said she had been cranky and tired all day and felt a bit warm. They were thinking she was either getting sick or teething.
She was in pretty good spirits for the walk home,babbling and laughing at me. When I got home I remembered I had to move my car (street sweeping) so I had to load her up in her cars eat, move the car, and walk home from the lot (the joys of single parenthood). She was also in a pretty decent mood through this debacle. When we got home I wolfed down some food while giving her one of those food pouch things. Then I got her in pjs/sleepsack and took her temperature. It was slightly elevated at 99.8 but I decided she seemed OK and forged on with my sleep training plan.
I rocked her with a bottle until she was sleepy and put her in her crib. She immediately flipped to her belly and started babbling. I rubbed her back/tummy/head and she would put her head down for a few seconds and pop up. I rolled her onto her side a few times (her preferred sleep position) but she wasn’t having it.
Then the crying started. I continued the rubs and soothing shush’s and told her I loved her. I felt like a monster but trudged on. After an hour, I laid on my bed next to her crib and told her I was still there. Then I went back every 5-10 minutes for rubs and pats. The screaming didn’t stop. When we hit hour two, I was starting to doubt my plan but she did show some tiny signs of slowing down. About thirty minutes later, she rolled onto her side and fell asleep.
I watched a bit of TV, ate some celebratory ice cream, and went to bed early expecting a bunch of wake-ups. But, she slept through the night as wasn’t up until after 6! I’m not sure if she was just so exhausted from screaming (or if my plan is working) but we will see tonight!
My amazing (sleeping all night since six weeks old) baby is backsliding. First I thought it was jetlag from going home to NY. Then I thought it was teething. But I now have to accept that we have a sleep regression in our midst-with 2-3 wake-ups every night. Due to thinking it was jetlag and teething I have gotten into the habit of bringing her into bed with me for a bottle in the middle of the night. She is so cute and snuggly that I’ve kept her with me until we wake up. Now it has definitely turned into a bad habit that she expects.
After talking to friends and a bunch of research I have decided that due to her new found crawling skills, she get really excited when she wakes up and night and doesn’t know how to get herself back to sleep. I have always rocked her to sleep with a bottle and it works great. But now, she is getting a bottle every time she wakes up because its the only way she will sleep causing her diaper to leak because it is way too much liquid for a baby (or an adult) at night.
My plan is to follow this simple schedule that I modified on a friend’s advice (and the website Mommy My Way):
Days 1-3: give her a bottle and rock her until she is sleepy but not asleep. Put her in the crib and stay with her until she falls asleep patting and rubbing her and making singing/shushing noises.
If all goes well..
Day 4-6: do the bottle and rocking until it is done, put her in the crib and hang out for five minutes and leave the room. Go back every 20 minutes for five minutes until she stops crying.
Day 7-9: bottle, rock, put her in crib, say goodnight and immediately leave the room. Go back every 20 minutes for five minutes until she stops crying.
Keep your fingers crossed for me! I’ll try to update with my progress.
I finally took another blood test and i’m (again) officially a pre-diabetic. I should admit that this I have (maybe subconsciously) known this was the case for a while and just didn’t want to deal with it. So, I’m proud of myself for asking my doctor to order another test so I can take steps to address this before it gets out of control. I just read that 70% of people with PCOS have insulin intolerance that leads to pre-diabetes. This makes me feel slightly better but I hate that I feel stigmatized for having a “fat people’s” condition. I definitely feel like I would have dealt with this earlier had I not felt this stigma and body shame and it feels shitty. I definitely identify as a body positive anti-body shaming, proud plus size lady-but I’m still affected by all of this anti-fat BS and I’m worried that having to regulate what I eat will bring these feeling more to the surface. I guess it may be time to start therapy again.
I spent the better part of the morning looking up the glycemic index of different food (yipee!) and now I’m going to dive into a big work project to get my mind off of the lack of pizza I will soon be facing.
Here are some amazing pictures from our trip to Buffalo that my super-talented friend took at the Albright-Knox Art Gallery:
So my asshole cousin never got back to me about coming over for Christmas. But him and his wife cancelled on his parents for Christmas Chinese food so they ended up taking his two older kids out while him and his wife stayed at home ( huh?). Their baby wasn’t super sick- confirmed by the photo he posted on Facebook. So annoying but at least we had a good Christmas.
My dad’s surgery went well. They had to remove a little bone in his face and six teeth but they got everything and he is feeling better every day. Not sure if he will need radiation or chemo but I’m optimistic.
The flight home was awful. Two layovers was stupid crazy but Arya was a trooper and only had one big crying fit during the whole 12 hour debacle.
It’s New Years Eve and I’m eating a delicious brunch while Arya is at daycare. Omg did I need this day off after 12 days straight of taking care of her. Next, I’m taking myself to see the new Spider-Man and will probably fall asleep with the baby at 9. Happy New Year!
My dad got the results of his tests back and he has to have surgery two days after Christmas. The surgery will include removing a tumor and a large part of the roof of his mouth and some reconstructive surgery. According to my dad (who I have mentioned isn’t the best at complete honesty) the cancer hasn’t spread so they want to get it out ASAP. If this is really the case, his prognosis is decent and I have my fingers crossed that everything goes well. I can tell he is really nervous and it’s really putting a damper on the holiday but we are all doing our best to enjoy this time as much as we can.
Arya and I have been at my parent’s house since the 19th and we will be here until the 28th. So we will be here for the surgery but very little of the recovery. I thought about changing my flight to stay longer but I’m not sure having a baby around will help ease stress. Although she definitely makes people smile ( she is a baby after all) she has recently started experiencing some separation anxiety. The timing sucks because my family definitely needs some baby snuggles but Arya starts crying about 70% of the time someone else tries to hold her or watch her. I can’t even leave the room when I finally have help. My sister and dad seem to understand it’s just a baby phase but my mom seems to be taking it very personally. Sadly she is really in need of some baby snuggles but she is really frustrating me with her comments about me causing this by ” spoiling ” Arya. But I’m trying to take it in stride given the added stress of my dad’s illness.
Also, my aunt ( who is my mom’s best friend) has cancer too and her prognosis is really bad. I’ve been ” negotiating ” over text with her son to try and get us all together for Christmas. We have all spent the holiday together for as long as I can remember but over the last few years him, his wife, and their two ( now three kids) have been going out for Chinese while my aunt and uncle and his sister spend Christmas with us. It definitely seems that this is an issue his wife has but it’s really weird. This year, my aunt and uncle are going for Chinese food too ( I’m assuming because she wants to spend what will likely be one of her last Christmas’s with her son and grandkids), when it’s obvious she would prefer we all have Christmas together. My mom was in tears the other day talking about how she knows my aunt is dying and that she wants to spend time with her. Me and my sister were so fed up with this selfish bullshit so I sent her son this text:
He didn’t respond. I’m assuming he was either ignoring it or fighting with his wife about it. After 24 hours of silence I got annoyed and sent: “what’s up? Are you just not going to respond?”
Then he sent this total BS about his baby being sick and how they would try to make it.
I’m so frustrated. This isn’t about his wife and their petty weirdness. It’s about our parents both being sick and having one last holiday all together. I’m fully aware I may be projecting a bit but I’m just so angry at them. I get that he is dealing with his mother’s illness but it’s just so selfish and shitty. I’m assuming they won’t show up but I’m holding on to some hope that they will.
To end this on a more positive note, I got the most adorable picture of Arya with Santa ( no separation anxiety with him 🤔)
My dad might still have cancer. Based on the info my dad gave me (which isn’t always everything) a specialist looked at my dad’s scans and decided he didn’t like what he saw so he ordered more tests. His opinion is that my dad will likely need some sort of surgery and may lose the roof of his mouth-necessitating re-constructive surgery. We won’t know anything definitive until December 17th leaving my poor dad nervous and in limbo.
In the midst of this, my mom fell outside and broke six ribs and punctured a lung. My dad wasn’t able to get her up so they had to call an ambulance and my mother lied and told them she felt fine. Then she waited three days to go to the hospital! She is ridiculous. When she finally went in they kept her for a week. About 5 days into her stay she started having these weird hallucinations which she described in detail to me and my sister. The stories included a little boy who was cold that snuggled with her all night (?)and insisting that she was not in the hospital because she was sick but because she was studying nursing(??!). It was very disconcerting to say the least. The doctors said it was because she is elderly and that they get “a bit confused” in the hospital. This did not seem plausible at all (and i have my theories of what was actually causing it that I won’t share). My dad seemed satisfied with this explanation but my sister and I were nagging him to make sure to not leave her alone if she was still like this at home. My dad reluctantly agreed. Luckily my mom went back to normal after returning home (confirming my secret theory).
While this was all going on, I was in Lake Tahoe. Unfortunately, this was not for a vacation, but because the air in our area was unsafe (especially for babies). It was at a level marked “hazardous” by the EPA with warnings of a long term health impact-especially for children and the sick and elderly. I live about 130 miles from the Camp fire that destroyed the town of Paradise (and some of the surrounding areas) but because the winds were so strong all of East Bay and San Francisco were blanketed in smoke. It was very apocalyptic and many people (including me) were walking around with masks on and you were advised to stay inside with the windows closed with an air filter (if you could find one). I had bought one during the previous wildfires because Arya was two months old and coughing. My work closed along with most of the schools in the area and the city was a ghost town.
My friend (who is also a single mother by choice) rented a cabin in Lake Tahoe (where the air was much, much, better) with her sister and her husband and two kids. She invited us to go with them she we drove up after work the Thursday before Thanksgiving. During the drive, her son (who is 20 months old) threw up about 5 times. We thought he was car sick due to the super winding roads. Unfortunately, he had the norovirus! (In case you don’t know about the norovirus, it is a really intense flu that lasts about 48 hours and i hate it with every fiber of my being). We realized it was the norovirus when my friend became insanely ill the following night, followed by me the next day. I was so sick that I was unable to even keep water down so I was incredibly weak and dizzy. My friend’s very sweet parents came up Saturday to help us and her amazing mom watched Arya Saturday night because I was physically unable to take care of her. It was definitely the hardest days of parenting I have ever had. In the midst of this, I had a brief due for work so I was literally throwing up, lying down, and then working. It was terrible.
Arya came down with it when we one the way home the following Monday. My poor bug cried and fussed the entire five hour drive home. I had to stay home with her the next day and although I brought her to daycare on Wednesday, they made me pick her up. It was rough-especially because I still hadn’t slept much and was finishing up the brief.
But, we survived and had an awesome Thanksgiving. We also got Arya’s first Christmas tree. The holidays are definitely more fun with a baby!